How an Intern Fooled M for 2 Weeks

Early in my startup career, I had an intern who just oozed exec presence. Tall, good-looking, and confident AF. He looked you in the eye as if you had his full attention and nodded along as if he was tracking every word. I assumed he knew exactly what he was doing when I gave him an assignment… until two weeks in, when I realized he didn't even know how to open his email.

Why did it take me 2 weeks to realize this?? Research shows that it only takes us 1/10 of a second to form an impression of traits like competence and trustworthiness (the foundations of exec presence). Once that impression is set, our brains mostly look for evidence to confirm that first impression while ignoring evidence that contradicts it.

This first impression (right or wrong) begins to shape reality. Here's how it goes...

If someone has the impression that you are capable, they will ask for your input and give weight to your ideas. You will likely show up more confident, clearer, and more decisive. If someone has the impression that you are not capable, they might cut you off or bypass you entirely. You start holding back, second-guessing, and showing up smaller.

The loop reinforces itself.

Yes, you can change someone's first impression by doing great work, building your reputation, and providing evidence that you are a capable leader. However, you are working from a deficit if you do not immediately come across as a capable leader.

It is only fair to say that unconscious bias will play a big part in this. We see a tall, good looking white man with a deep voice and a firm handshake and think capable leader. We can't control that. But, my experience is that anyone can actively develop a more powerful presence and that is something we can take control over.

Bottom line: Doing great work is very important for building your reputation AND having a strong executive presence sets you up to do your best work.

Try this today: Ask someone you trust, "What three words come to mind when you picture me walking into a room?" This is not about fishing for compliments. It is about hearing the impression people are already forming about you and deciding if it is the impression you want them to keep having. Don't defend. Don't explain. Just listen.

P.S. That intern? Fifteen years later, he is an incredibly successful sales leader and he is legitimately good at it. You cannot coast forever on presence alone, but it can give you a head start that makes success easier.