I don't know what I'm doing
"I don't know what I'm doing."
About 15 years ago, I said those words behind closed doors at Pluto TV, where I was their Marketing Director.
The product was breaking while I tried to market it. The data was unreliable, and I'd never led at this level before. I only had two years at an online video startup before this—and the Pluto "marketing team" was originally just me: no wise mentor, no roadmap.
I said those words to a colleague one afternoon—honestly, vulnerably. He paused, looked me straight in the eyes, and said: "Never say that out loud."
At the time, I took that to heart. I stayed quiet. But inside, I kept thinking: "Someone's going to tap me on the shoulder and say, 'Hey, we figured it out. You're not actually supposed to be here.'" But no one did.
And I had to figure out how to rise to the moment. I wasn't incapable. I was in uncharted territory.
More Pressure. Less Certainty.
The leaders I work with are highly competent and intelligent. And they're leading at a level they've never led before. They're first-time CEOs and C-suite leaders—holding the full weight of an organization across people, outcomes, and impact. There's no script. No guarantee it will work.
What Real Confidence Looks Like
This is where adaptive confidence comes in. Adaptive confidence is the ability to stay grounded and lead forward—even when the terrain is unfamiliar, the data is incomplete, and the path isn't clear. It's not about pretending to know. It's about leading with transparency and steadiness when the outcome is still unfolding.
In these moments, experienced leaders say things like: "Here's how I'm thinking about this with the data we have…"; "This is new ground. I'll share what I'm seeing and how we're approaching it…"; "Here's the call I'm making, and how I'm thinking about the tradeoffs."
That kind of communication builds trust. It invites collaboration. And it keeps things moving—without faking certainty. This is what earns credibility: not always having all the answers, but knowing how to navigate when no one else does either.
As Heifetz and Linsky wrote in Adaptive Leadership: "Leadership in sustained crisis is an improvisational and experimental art." That's not a detour from real leadership—it is real leadership.
If You're in the Deep End Right Now: keep showing up—with clarity, presence, and adaptability. That voice saying "You're not supposed to be here"? It might be the sound of you becoming someone who is.
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